Proverbs Reflection Chapter 26: Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

Proverbs 26:18-19

18 Like a crazed archer

scattering firebrands and deadly arrows,

19 Such are those who deceive their neighbor,

and then say, “I was only joking.”

This must be where the kids phrase originates. I wouldn't have thought it went back so far, but there you have it.

My wife has been my primary teacher in the lesson of truth tell and letting yes mean yes and no mean no. She thinks much and says little and she means what she says. I tend to think much and talk more, enjoying jests, jokes, debates and heated discussion. I have had to learn to tone down my fish stories and hyperbole simply because it makes a pretty bad impression, especially in public. It can and often times has made me look like a fool, eating my words.

I do not tend to set out to purposefully deceive others, but need to reign it in when it comes in conversation and cannot expect everyone to "know my personality" and ignore some of the crazy offhanded things that I say.

It is far better for me to say just a little bit less, be more peaceable and agreeable and don't waste my breathe on things not worth my time.

Say 5 fewer complaints,jeers, jest and offhanded comments today. You won't regret it.

Proverbs Reflections Chapter 24: Knowledge is Power!

Chapter 24:3-5

3By wisdom a house is built,

by understanding it is established;

4And by knowledge its rooms are filled

with every precious and pleasing possession.

5The wise are more powerful than the strong,

and the learned, than the mighty.

Instead of indulging another guilty pleasure of Downtown Abbey or Dancing with the Stars, why not use that time for the pursuit of wisdom and knowledge?

If you simply must watch some shows, perhaps cross just one weekly show off the list and use that time to learning something new or old, or improve upon your skill set in a given area. Bring out that old hobby you had way back when (woodworking, canning, guitar, Spanish, knitting, etc.) and brainstorm how you can use it to bless others.

Some suggestions are:

1) Study for a certification for your job or a future career.
2) Read a book on Healthy Cooking or Eating
3) Read a book on Personal Finance ( "Your Money or Your Life" or "The Richest Man in Babylon")
4) Read a biography of a great person or story from history.
5) Learn a new skill: Homesteading, Computers, Language, Instrument, etc.

Perhaps think of some knowledge that you could use to bless others in your family or neighborhood and learn it with a goal of becoming proficient in 6 months and then using the time you set aside to put your skill to work.

How to Succeed at the Thrift Store

One of the best ways to save a lot of money on things that you actually need is to buy used.
I will admit that there is a level of humility needed to shop secondhand, but remember you aren't all that and a bag of chips and your time is much more important than that brand new shirt. Saying some money on needs allows you to buy some of your time back using investments, paying off debts, or building your rainy day fund.

We are on year 5 of our local Goodwill being our 1st stop for all our material needs.

The things that we have found to be easy and low risk to find at Thrift Stores are: clothes, coats, kids shoes,plates, silverware, drinking glasses, coffee mugs, decorations (or material to make them), books, wood furniture, kids toys (wood or easily washable plastic)

Things that are harder but can be found are: small appliances, electronics, maternity clothes, adult shoes, pots and pans

Things that we will not buy there: Anything non-washable in the washing machine or easily with bleach. These include: stuffed animals, cloth material toys and games, things with way too many nooks and crannies, things with many small parts that may be missing and needed

The basic steps are as follows, when a need arises:

1) Look around the house for a substitute items that will suffice
2) Write a list of what you need (check it twice)
3) Head to the thrift store with at least 30-60 mins open
4) Look for the big stuff first, before heading into clothes
5) Try on everything and look for defects or potential defects
6) Re-check the list to make sure the items fill the need
7) Buy the items for 90% of retail in most cases (*many stores have 1/2 off days to save more)

*note on kids: plan ahead, buy the sizes one season ahead, so as not to get stuck with out a fitting coat or shoes. Be sure to not buy too far ahead, as many kids skip sizes entirely.

Thrift store shopping takes multiple trips and good planning to be successful.
However, the return is usually 75-90% off retail (i.e. jeans for $3 instead of $30-$50)

The estimated money we have saved by shopping at the thrift store is in the thousands of dollars, especially on kids clothes and shoes. We have found many quality brands very gently used, that have been very well worth the time invested.

It is also a fun date night activity or for moms to get out of the house for a bit. There is more fun to be had not simply doing a 1 for 1 transfer for $10 for a shirt at the retail store. Part of the fun is that there are gems to be found and you can add some personal flair to you place or self that probably isn't at the retail store.

I recently got an awesome Youngstown State Penguins T-shirt complete with Chilly Willy Cartoon Mascot to replace my 7 year old t-shirt from High School Basketball that got a hole :(

Imagine what you can find!

Spend money on what you actually want like working for fewer years or a trip to Rome, not trinkets!

Proverbs Reflection Day 6 - A Grudge is Not Worth It

Chapter 20:3

3A person gains honor by avoiding strife,

while every fool starts a quarrel.

Can anyone add one minute to their life by being angry or holding a grudge. Just anger is one thing and should be remedied, however the little things that cause us to flip out and get bent out of joint are not worthy of just anger.

Just anger should be directed at something worthy of our time and of grave matter. It should also be something within our control or something we can take one step of action towards.

Most often in dealing with people, praying for them and not letting emotions dictate your decisions is the best way to go.

I recently heard that someone  was withholding his children from seeing their grandfather over a trivial matter. Of course inside the situation, it may not seem trivial, but we need to rise above ourselves and our pride.

The next time a person offends you take the following steps:

1) Say a prayer for them
2) Decide if the action even deserves a response (remember you and they both have dignity)
3) Will your potential solution actually bring about the change you wish?
4) When you are at their funeral or hear that they have died, will you be glad for the anger and grudge that you had against them?

Remember do not let the sun go down on your anger and seeking reparation for the offenses that you have caused others.

"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us"

Proverbs Reflection Day 5 - The Grass is Always Greener

Chapter 19:20-21

20Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may eventually become wise.

21Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the decision of the LORD that endures

In "The Golden Counsels", his collection of sayings, thoughts and advice, St. Francis Desales gives one of the greatest pieces of wisdom that I have heard.

His thought cam be summed up as such: The devil wants you to go to a hundred golden roads, each one more alluring and "perfect" than the next, reach the mid way point, get bored and turn back and start over. God just wants you to go down one road with your whole heart all the the way to the end.

In this day and age of instant technology and a deluge of media, advice, and choices, life can be overwhelming. Even something as simple as buying food brings a myriad of thousands of items in the grocery isles and hundreds of eat this, not that recommendations.

There is something to be said for long suffering, perserverance and setting goals in this age. People has always been distracted by shiny object syndrome, but I think it is a significant deterrent on those trying to do the right thing and live servant hearted lives now a days. The sheer ease of gathering information and the speed at which you can make changes in your life is both grand and terrifying.

I have often lamented to my wife than many people our age (millenials) seem very discontent with life and are flying from one thing to the next to the next, just because they can easily. 

My challenge for the day is look at a situation, challenge or blessing that has been placed in my life and see how I can see it through to the end, or at least to a short or medium term goal.

As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. Let us be thankful for the grass we have to mow today!

My Wife is Amazing!

My wife is simply amazing. I cannot be thankful enough for who she is and the joy she brings to my life. I did nothing to deserve her and in fact do a lot of thing that in justice would have me without her, but alas God is merciful and I get to share my life with her.

This girl is a CHAMPION!
Let me count the ways:

Prays daily!
3 kids in four years! (no drugs people)
Gave up her teaching career to be a stay at home momma.
Almost weekly thinks of some other way to simplify our life.
Teaching homeschool like a boss and teaching other moms how to do it well.
Always reaching out to neighbors, friends and people who need love.
Always giving gifts and money to the poor and encouraging me to be less stingy.
Wakes up with the baby at all hours of the night and cares for her.
Teaches are girls how to be little ladies and mind their manners.
Gets me special treats for no reason at all.
Wears,celebrates and distributes thrift store finds.
Her worst habits are making me give away shirts with holes in them from High School and stealing my sweatshirts.
Never heard her swear or watch inappropriate media in my life.
Call her parents and siblings to check in almost everyday.
Convinces me to do stuff when I am being lazy.
Always asks a joy from my day and makes me think of one.
Never goes to bed without saying I love you and never goes to bed mad.
Cloth diapers to save money even though it is terrible.
Keeps our schedule, my schedule, the kids schedule and probably someone else's I dont even know about.
Doesn't complain when she cleans the house for the 42nd time in two days (thanks toddlers)
Always points out the hilarious and trivial things of life.

Ok, I will stop bragging and get back to serving her and thanking God now.

What a babe!

Proverbs Reflections Day 4 - Jealous? Get off the News Treadmill.

30 A tranquil mind gives life to the body,

but jealousy rots the bones.

In his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the great Stephen Covey wrote about circles of influence and what we can really change and what we cannot change.

There are simply way too many things that we cannot directly influence, which we must avoid letting dominate our mind and causing us unrest, anxiety and jealously.

I would guess that around 75-99% of "news" these days is filled with things we can do nothing about and is simply sensationalism. I do not mean that we should be uninformed or live under a rock, but that we should be informed on things that are actually important and not hang on to every bit of news that we hear.

We have choices to make and things that need our direct attention everyday. Focus on what needs to be done IN THE PRESENT MOMENT. It is going to take a lot of prayers for me not to be uncharitable towards those who check their phone while having a conversations, driving, walking, eating dinner, etc.

All that the constant news flow does is steal away the thankfulness and joy we can and should wake up with everyday.

Remember even those people who make gold records put on their pants one leg at a time and bleed their own blood. Who gives two fruits what they are wearing today or who they are dating or how many shares of KO they have in their offshore bank account.

Do what you gotta do today and be grateful for one person or gift you have been given.

Proverbs Reflection Day 3 - Don't Act a Fool

20Walk with the wise and you become wise,

but the companion of fools fares badly.
 
How many hours per day do we spend in mindless pursuits or "blackhole" activities?

A co-worker and I were laughing about playing video games* when we were kids and how we would spend countless hours every day, every weekend in front of the TV. What do we have to show for these activities now?

 NOTHING! This funny on some levels, but immense sad on many more. I would argue that youth does not know the value of time, but if you are reading this, chances are you are not a ruddy youth. So, stop acting like it, it is just not worth it.

I'm talking about Facebook, Stock Chart Watching, Gossip, Reality TV, Comparing Ourselves to Others, Checking Emails,....."The movie never ends, it goes on and on and on......." Thanks Journey!

Please realize that all these things involve being companions of the fools.

Have a real conversation, sit in silence, pray, read a book about a great person, work out, take a walk outside, call you mom/dad/wife/kids.

Garbage in Garbage Out!

We have reduced our desire for relationship to simple inputs of technology. The ease, instant pleasure and lack of motivation are so enticing, but when we look back on our lives will be glad and proud of these choices?

Make a Choice today to rid your life of one of these blackhole fools forever, trust me you won't miss it.

* - I still really enjoy video games, but my time is too sparse these days, only 19,162.5 days left if I am strong.

Do I Need this Thing? 1 Minute Test - Step 1 on the Road to More Efficient Living

Wants vs. Needs is one of the most disputed aspects of American financial culture. We are talking about things here, materials one can posses, own, pine over, etc.

Per Webster's Dictionary a need is something that a person must have : something that is needed in order to live or succeed or be happy.

This standard definition leaves way too much gray area, so I am going to give you a very simple exercise to determine if items in your house needs or if you can sell them on Craigslist or donate them to Goodwill or friends.

Steps to Determine a Need:

1. Did I use this item today? If so why or why not ( be specific,this item is used for x because y)
2. Have I used this item in the last week, month, year?
3. Is this item connected to another item I actually don't use or have anymore (i.e. - case for Palm Pilot from 1997)
4.  If this is a seasonal/emergency use item, is it really necessary (10 Christmas snow globe baubles when 5 would suffice). The goal is no baubles, but baby steps here. 
5.  Do I know someone who needs this more than me?

There is the initial look over. I call this the questioning why I have all this clutter anyways stage.

Up next we will discuss How to Get the Stuff Out of you Face via Goodwill and Craigslist!

Hang tight and come back for the next adventure in Simplicity!

Having an Attitude of Gratitude

One of my wife's favorite sayings is "Live Simply So that Others May Simply Live"

We have tried to take that truly to heart in our marriage, raising our children and most especially in our consumerism.

Now there are all kinds of poverty for sure and one of the foremost in America is spiritual poverty. That is not to say that there isn't real physical hardship going on in your neighborhood, but that the ramifications and extent of the spiritual poverty I believe is much greater.

I know many people that struggle with depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, worthlessness, thinking they are their job, car, house, hobby, etc. I know many who do not know their neighbors or even talk to their own family members.

I think one great way to combat this spiritual poverty is to have an attitude of gratitude as they say.
To wake up and as Fulton Sheen says, greet the day with "Good morning God!" instead of "Good God it is Morning". ( This one is terribly difficult for me early on in the morning).

As we go through our journeys defeating debt, living simply and loving our neighbors, let's not forget that we all have many many things that we can be thankful for right this very minute and everyday. When we come from a position of strength, we are better able to deal with all that life throws at us and roll with the punch and sometimes even punch back!

So if you haven't done so already today say thank you to God, your husband or wife, children, brother, sister, parents, grandparents, co-workers, friends; anyone who has helped you out in the last week.

A special thanks to everyone who helped us out with our debt, jobs, cars, furniture and so many more things!

Proverbs Reflection Day 2 - How to Get Things Done!

To continue the daily reading and reflection of Proverbs let's go to Chapter 12.

The verse that really stuck out today was:

24The diligent hand will govern,

but sloth makes for forced labor.

25Worry weighs down the heart,

but a kind word gives it joy.

I have found in my own life it is much easier to worry about tasks that need done and turn them into giant monsters that can and will never be completed. Making mountains out of molehills. 

Often times, when we simply set about a task with a slow and steady hand and an open and humble mind, it is completed with greater ease than ever imagined.

I am often reminded from my own experience and the words of many wise people that if we do not make our own choices then someone else will make them for us. This may be our family, employer, school, neighbor, or government.

It is up to each one of us to live intentionally and not fall back on blaming others for what we do not like about ourselves or our situations. We have been given Freedom and we must use it with right reason, diligence and love.

Proverbs Challenge Day 1

In the daily readings of the Catholic Church there has been a lot of talk about King David and now his Son Solomon. Solomon asked the Lord to give him wisdom above all else. We are searching for wisdom in a variety of areas in our life  especially about housing, so I am going to read one chapter of Proverbs everyday until I read them all. 

I am using the method of reading the Chapter number that corresponds to the calendar date until I finish them all. I am also going to keep a notebook of one concrete way to live out each piece of wisdom in the reading.

I started with Chapter 11 and here was what stood out to me:

24 One person is lavish yet grows still richer;

another is too sparing, yet is the poorer.^*

25Whoever confers benefits will be amply enriched,

and whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.

How I cut my Cell phone Bill by 75%

Sign up for TING, use wifi, save mad money!

If you need to regain some positive cash flow here are some tips on how to free yourself from looking like Marley and Marley on the Muppets Christmas Carol:

1) Seriously.....I mean Seriously consider how important you are and who really needs to contact you. (If your employer pays for your phone, consider yourself lucky and still put it away when your eating dinner and playing at the park with your kids. I'm looking at you guy checking ESPN)

2) Repeat step 1 a couple more times, ask your roommates, spouse, dog, etc to chime in as well.

3) If Verizon is the best service in your area and you talk a lot and don't have a smart phone switch to Page Plus Wireless; the same service just $30 per month ( 1200 talk 3000 texts).
(The great people at Kitty Wireless can help you out: kittywireless.com)

5) If you aren't a big talker and/or need a smartphone get TING. I don't mean next year or something, I mean NOW! You have no excuse. This took me 3 days: Buy a used iPhone 4 on Craigslist or Ebay. Sign up for Ting and use the referral link https://ztnhg12p5o3.ting.com/ and get $50 free credit! Everyone you get to signup nets you $25.

5a)If you have a smart phone and are already paying for the internet at home, sign up for a free google voice number to text from and get the Talkatone App to make calls.

How We Live on Less than $40,000 per Year

Here is my article from Len Penzo's Site:
http://lenpenzo.com/blog/id21242-how-i-live-on-less-than-40000-annually-jonathan-from-ohio.html

I tried to answer questions in the comment and be as straightforward as possible.

How We Destroyed $40,000 of Student Loan Debt in 3 years

Student Loan Debt is Terrible and it needs to get out of your life!

Some people will tell you it is "good debt" and you should use your extra cash for other things. I am not going to argue the financial merits in this post but the emotional, spiritual and mental aspects of paying it off and a show you how we did it and you can too!

I never realized or thought about how I was going to pay for all those nice private university classes I took, just trying to make my way in the world and keep my head above water while focusing on my studies. I didn't use college as a party time, but just never thought about the financial aspects of my decisions. Fast forward 4 years and I have $27,000 in student loan debt to go with my shiny new degree. My wife had $10,000 for her less fancy public school degree, but considering she was retiring from paid work ASAP to stay home with the baby it seemed like a lot more.

Fact check:

1) $37,000 in student loans @5% avg. - check

2) $35K/yr job for Mrs. - check (worked 3 years total)

3) Part time Grocery Store and tutoring for me (15k/yr maybe) - check

4) Pregnant Wife quickly becoming stay at home mom - check

5) Cash Flow Emergency- CHECK!

Here is what we did:

1) Found the cheapest apartment we could find that was close to friends, work and safe for a family ($450/month)

2) Prayed and Prayed for a fulltime job for me. Asked around everyone we knew for openings. Praise God I got a full-time job @ $26k/yr with benefits right before Red#1 was born.

3)Treated visits to family across town as vacations.

4)Set a budget using Dave Ramsey as a guide (tracked it with an excel spreadsheet every month) and used the 7 Baby Steps Method. Thanks to Bob @ CPF http://christianpf.com/10-free-household-budget-spreadsheets/

5)Cancelled every subscription we had (yes i mean internet, cable, newspaper, magazines). We use the library a lot!

6) Went down to one car and sold the other when baby was born.

7) Funneled every extra penny to the student loan payment using the Debt Snowball Method (including gifts, tax returns, etc.)

8) Used the Crockpot and ate the same dinners multiple times per week (meatless is cheaper for sure)

9) Set the thermostats colder and hotter than we liked but nothing extreme (not according to Mrs.)

10) Called and took car insurance coverage to higher deductible once we had $1000 saved up and had  liability only.

11) Packed Lunch Everyday for work ( I have paid for lunch out 1 time in 5 years of work)

12) Worked every extra bit of overtime, side projects, babysitting, housesitting, credit card rewards, you name it we probably tried it.

13) Had one normal cell phone with a limited minutes plan.

14) Installed low flow fixtures and compact bulbs (not sure how much this helped)

15) Gave ourselves prizes and date nights when we hit a predetermined milestone - $500, $1000, etc.

I know you may have seen all these tips before, but it never hurts to try to clean up an area where money is going out too fast.

We tried to name every dollar and make it count towards our FREEDOM!

On the other side of it now for a year and a half we are a lot less stressed out and have know we could not have handled the $500+/month student loan payment with their being 5 people in the family now.

I enjoy this stuff and would love to help you out with advice if I can! The little thing really do add up.

Leave your tips in the comments too!

Inspired me: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/18/news-flash-your-debt-is-an-emergency/

Best Steps to Find Reliable Info Online

Let's face it, it is hard to find reliable information online. After having spent nearly 15 years surfing the web and reading countless articles, blogs and forums; I have devised a system to filter out most of the junk that comes at you online.

It goes a little something like this:

1) Google the topic, phrase or question as intelligently as possible.

2) NEVER click the ads above the real search results.

3) Scan the first page of results, looking for a known or branded source (i.e. - Time, NY Times, EWTN, ESPN, etc.)

4) Open a new tab for a few of the results that look good and reliable.

5) Scan through the articles to see if this is really what you need.

6) Bounce the facts/statements in the articles against an online dictionary, encyclopedia, wikipedia(only for references at the bottom of the articles), etc.

7) Search the local library databases or Amazon for books on the specific topic if more information is needed.

8) If it is something that can being shown in a "how to" format, youtube or forums specific to the topic are helpful ( i.e. - search Honda Odyssey forums)

Hopefully these tips help you navigate the information superhighway!

Feel free to leave your tips in the comments section.

Mission Critical: Kick Mean People in the Face with Love!

Greetings to all!

I am striving to live an awesome life my family. After my submission got published @ http://lenpenzo.com/blog/id21242-how-i-live-on-less-than-40000-annually-jonathan-from-ohio.html, my wife encouraged me to start my own blog.

This blog will be dedicated on how to kick butt and take names while still showing people the Love of God!

Hope you enjoy!

Prayers for you and yours,
JB